Now that NaNoWriMo 2014 is over and I won (see post here), I need to continue my novel’s story. I was nowhere near my story’s end at the 50,000-some words I completed in November. I took a break after winning to recover, but now I feel like I can get back to writing again! I still have a lot of flaws in my story. Mostly, Nano has given me a broken mess or a novel, but I see the potential! I’m excited! I still am not sure whether I want it to be in first person or third person…or what the ending will be…and I need to develop my characters and world more… (hyperventilates a little)…but I will get it done! And it will be amazing.
Here is an excerpt from a personal exercise delving into the thoughts of one of my main characters. I’m trying to find out more about her before she meets Gray (her assigned human). Then maybe I can figure out how to end this baby when I know everything about her (and Gray too for that matter).
My parents never loved me. But growing up I couldn’t fault them because I didn’t really know what love was. No one does in my society. I read about love in school from the human books rescued from their dying dimension, but it seems so unnecessary. In human literature, parents love their children by hugging them, reading to them, and feeding them. In that way, I guess my own parents filled the requirement, but it was only what was required of them by society, not love. Why would love be important when you can buy it in a can? I’ve taken it a few times for class research, but it’s not for me. The canned Love made me feel warm, flushed, and shaky when I prefer to feel calm and alert to my surroundings. A warm feeling flushes your entire body and hits your stomach with fluttery queasiness until you smile with your entire face. All I could do was sit at my desk and stare at the wall or out at the cityscape with lovesick eyes. It means nothing to love. I use Happiness of course, but usually only the recommended daily dose like everyone else. Some students in my class walk around with a stupid grin plastered on their face and you know they took at least triple the amount they are supposed to. Teachers don’t say anything unless your grades begin to drop, because it isn’t harmful, just unrealistic. However, I know that you can’t be happy all the time and I’m ok with just being content. Most people who take more Happiness than usual are in dire need to forget something or get through a certain stress in their life, like exam period or assigning day. I, for one, want to remember the day I’m assigned to my first human. I want to remember the name forever as if it’s etched into rough tree bark like lovers’ initials. He or she won’t know I’m there, but I am ready to cross dimensions and become their shadow.
This is what I was born to do.
Writing my first novel has been an amazing experience. I’m sure I’ll get a lot faster (and better) as I write more and more. It’s a great feeling!